As I am getting more familiar with the blogosphere and reading more posts from mommy bloggers, I have realized something.
Maybe I work full-time because I could not be a stay-at-home mom.
I’m just no domestic diva material.
Fact: I outsource chores as much as I can.
I barely cook because I hate doing the dishes. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I hate that my hands get dry, that the counter gets crowded with drying dishes, I hate that it takes so much time. I would otherwise enjoy it very much — and when I do it’s usually because someone else is cleaning. But for the most part? My husband enjoys take-out even more than I do.
Note — I’ve been making my own baby food but that’s merely because I’m cheap and concerned about what my baby eats. This task is nothing but the exception to the rule.
We outsource the cleaning of our house to professionals once a week. My husband and I work very hard and enjoy very little down time together as a family. It is therefore a privilege we are not ashamed of.
There is nothing like a clean house from top to bottom. Even if it lasts just a couple of hours.
My fancy Dyson vacuum, a gift from my husband for Christmas (in his defense, totally my idea), is my only motivation to do “some” housework over the week-end.
And my true motivation for using it — beside clearing the hardwood floors off the dog’s hair and … mine — is that my son finds it absolutely hilarious.
Especially when the dog chases us back. (If you have found a way to vacuum in the presence of a toddler without having to carry him on your hip, I’m interested)
I don’t even iron my own clothes, I outsource that too.
Dry cleaning? I don’t like it. I don’t trust they actually read care instructions labels on clothes (ask my husband about his Irish lambswool sweater), I think it’s expensive and it does not even look that great. I can iron a shirt much better than a dry cleaner’s press can. But I’m happy to delegate.
And I won’t even talk about the impact of dry cleaners on the environment…
No, really, I’d rather have my own personal helper at home once a week. And the laundry? I time it accordingly so that the baby’s clothes are put away just before the week-end starts. It’s been a huge help.
I can’t even get myself to drive my car through the car wash once a month. Not that I really care but — it must be a guy thing – my husband does care a lot.
You will never see him wash our cars with the garden hose, no! We get our cars washed at the auto spa. I think it’s a waste of money. I’m happy to oblige if that makes him happy.
While I feel so lucky to have a husband who loves chores that involve running errands, I can’t help but suspect he’s fleeing the house to avoid baby chores.
When the timing allows, I task my husband with going grocery shopping. I hand him a list, my credit card with a budget number he cannot exceed. If he does, he is to use his credit card for the difference… And you would too if you saw how much junk food necessities he can find that were not on the list!
I will admit something. But don’t judge me.
My son is about to join a home day care (just a few weeks to go with the nanny share!) where the provider cooks homemade lunches for the children. And all I can think of is how relieved am that I don’t need to worry about making my son’s lunch anymore.
In fact the caregiver even provides breakfast and dinner, so theoretically, I could save myself a lot more food making!
We all dread some chores… right? So what are yours?
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Yard work. Does that count? Every fall I absolutely dread the massive amount of leaf fall that is garunteed to occur. It’s endless and even when hours are spent raking and bagging, our yard will be covered again with another blanket of leaves in a few days. That’s what we get for buying a house with mature trees (which my husband insisted on). We now work very hard every fall to rake and bag, rake and bag, rake and bag….we work so hard, in fact, that once a woman driving by stopped, went into reverse, got out of her car and asked my husband and I if we could give her an estimate of our services for her own leaf covered yard which needed badly to be raked and bagged, raked and bagged, raked and bagged- you get the point.
You bet it counts!
Maybe it’s time to invest in a leaf blower. That sort of things highly entertains husbands to the point that they may not even mind the bagging business. Worth a try
You are correct in the assertion that we do indeed dread doing chores. Like Erin, I can’t stand doing yard work for some reason. Maybe it’s because growing up my chore was always cutting the grass and to this day I still have some issue with cutting and edging a lawn. Who knows! All I do know is that it was difficult finding time to get everything done BC (before children) and now I think I’m going to try and “outsource” as much as possible!
Glad to read everyone has their own weakness
Selfish of me, I know.
That being said, your back & front yards are pretty tiny, so maybe you weren’t ready for the big move quite yet, eheh.
Thing after BC are definitely different but if you train them well, kids become valuable helpers. Oops, did I just say “train”?
Me, it’s all the things I haven’t “outsourced” yet, to be honest. I should outsource ironing, and yard work too, but I need corporate approval first… Erin’s post is scaring me b/c I know I will have to do the fall raking and bagging and the winter snow-removing… P**ain de b***el de m… (pardon my French).
See, Maryline, this is why procrastinating was invented and can be a very productive activity: we (husbands) procrastinate about stuff like that until you (wifes) realize that we should hire someone to get it done
Save yourselves some headaches and have game plan in place before your kid arrives!! Don’t wait until the work accumulates to find a solution, because at that point you are already behind.
Oh my, I cannot wait for your son to be here!
Girl, we have so much more in common than you’d think hahaha! I too am not very domesticated. When we were still living in the US, cooking were a mere survival skills that I had to do but since we get back to Indonesia, I do more take outs of ‘outsource’ it through my mom’s maid who is an excellent cook hahaha. I feel you on the dishes! I miss having a dishwasher – here we don’t have one. As for the ironing part? I hate them with a passion and I always just fold everything straight out of hot dryer (unless it really is a must to iron them) LOL. Love this post!
What, no dishwasher??? So sorry, I feel for you my friend!
We used to run it twice a week, and now it’s almost every day. It’s amazing how much more mess a mere 25 pound baby can create
Worth every dirty plate though!!
Re: Your husband doing the grocery shopping… he buys the best “necessities”.
I love snooping around for the choco covered everything that you have at your house.
You should have heard me at lunch today. We were home and I was getting ready to sit T down for lunch, I came over to him as he was playing next to his dad, and then I noticed his mouth is full.
“What did you feed him!!? A Milano, are you kidding me, he’s about to get lunch?”
“No, no, it’s not a Milano.”
“Oh yeah, really?”
At that point some chocolate is smudging in the coners of T’s mouth.
“It’s just a quarter of a chocolate chip cookie, barely anything…”
I was so mad!
Sigh. I’m literally raising 2 kids.
Grocery shopping. Until recently, I used home delivery. That’s right, I ordered my groceries online to avoid that place. My Manny has assumed responsibility for this one since Baby J came along. HOWEVER, it’s still my dreaded responsibility on occasion. I give myself a time limit inside that cold, hateful place, say, 10 minutes. God help the checkout girl at minute 9!
Outsourcing is smart and respectable. It demonstrates that you are in touch with your needs and value your time. I didn’t know you could outsource ironing!!! I try to avoid items that require ironing, unless it can be dry cleaned (sorry.) But if time permitted, I do not mind it. Maybe I will do your ironing while you take on my grocery list?!?!? Let’s unite! I actually love raking leaves too. Hmmmm…..
Oh my goodness I LOVE online grocery shopping. But I have so little trust in how they select your produce, I wonder how was your experience so far.
Back in France I used this kind of service all the time. I need to start this again, great reminder.
And if the delivery guy is cute, it can make your day to see him sweat as he unloads your bags… Sorry, off topic!
By the way, love the chores co-op. Fantastic idea. But with our crazy schedules? We would have such a hard time connecting. I’m starting to pounder outsourcing the logistics of the co-op. It’s official, I’m hopeless!!!
I am home full time and in NO way am I a domestic diva. I do a lot of cooking but very little cleaning. So we live in a mess. I try not to let it get to me.
Visiting from the SITS forum.
Thanks for your insight Kristin! It’s all matter of acceptance. I would love for my clutter tendency to bother me less, but unfortunately it isn’t so.
Good for you for not letting the small things get to you.
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What a wonderful post! I am working FT outside the home as well, and I avoid doing anything domestic. For a while I tried to pretend I wanted to be a SAHM because I thought that was what I should be wanting. Thanks for the food for thought.
Have a wonderful day!
“What I should be wanting“, nicely said.
To each their own, and some women/men are better off being working moms/dads, not that they would not or cannot be SAH but they are possibly happier to be able to do both, working and raising a child. What makes mom and dad happy will make the child happy!
After a week-end running after my toddler, I need the work week to recover
Thanks for visiting!
I’m not much of a domestic person at all. I love to cook, but can’t stand dishes. I have a housekeeper that comes every week as well, since I work outside of the home and don’t want all my free time to be spent cleaning. I wish I was more into it, but I’ve never been very good at domestic chores at all.
We are on the same page sister! Not very ‘domesticable’. There are so many more interesting things to do. Let’s call it natural selection…
Ha ha.. a gal after my own heart! Lol.. I abhor chores in any form.. probably because I used to clean vacay homes for a living. Now I only do the bare bones, and whatever I can afford to outsource, I do! And if I can’t, I either hitch up my socks and dive in, or let the mess sit until I can pay someone to do it for me!
Great post, love your sense of humor. One question though..nanny share? I’ve never heard of this, but it sounds divine! How do I find out more? lol
c
Occasionally I’ve tested my husband with letting the mess accumulate just to see… It does not work. I still end up cleaning AND I get more annoyed. Not worth it!
As for the nanny share business, let me add a link or two in the post so you can read about my nanny share wisdom
LOL..yeah I’ve tried that myself..totally doesn’t work. Whoever said reverse psych is golden was a liar!
Off to read of this nanny sharing bidness!
c
Selfishly, I feel better knowing I’m not alone (re: our husbands not being domestic divas either… nor trying to be!)
Nanny-sharing is the way to go, let me know if you have any questions!
Glad to find your blog! Good luck with working out the domestic stuff. I feel very spoiled because I work outside the home and my husband is a SAHD who is also quite compulsive so our house is NEAT AND CLEAN all the time. And I do not make much effort as he would clean up after me anyway. But all food preparation is my domain and that can be crazy. And I would rather do anything than iron, seriously, I just will not iron and I shop accordingly. That is just a waste of time in my book. Refuse and resist!
Keep on writing, looking forward to more.
Hi Marian, and welcome to Franco-American Dream!
I would kill — ok maybe not, let’s say make a lot of compromises — to have a husband like yours just a day a week. Or an hour, really
Sadly my husband rarely checks on my blog so he might never read this subliminal message from me!
Ironing is a pain, but who can resist a pretty linen jacket? Can’t do it without the iron. Sad, I know.
[...] Just like millions of others out there, I am a working parent — so swamped it turns out that I outsource my own ironing chores. [...]
I hate dishes, cleaning the floors, cleaning the bathrooms, and pretty much all cleaning in general. But I love grocery shopping and cooking. Laundry could be worse.
Lucy @ lucille in the sky recently posted…from the perspective of a 4 year old
I don’t actually hate cleaning it’s just not on my priority list! I used to clean houses when I was in college and it wasn’t all that bad! I would however enjoy baking every day if somebody got me groceries and cleaned up after me
That is the downside of being at home….can’t outsource chores anymore cuz the hubby expects you to do them now! Great blog!!
Sara R-The Millennial Housewife recently posted…Coupon Organization System
Hi Sara, I hear you! But guess what, stay at home mom is a full time job — it’s lot like you have plenty of spare time… Tell hubby to pitch in!
Glad you liked the post, come and visit again. Take care!
Coming over from #31DBBB. I love your honesty. I do cook and all the other domestic diva stuff but I can appreciate what you are saying.
Only so many hours in the day right? Thanks for weighing in — to each their own. Whatever makes (and keeps) one happy!
If it’s a “chore”, then I dread it. I’m just completely undomesticated. I outsource and bring in professionals, too… but am actually trying to change that some before we start trying to have kids. I figured that I’ll “try” the housewife gig for a while to see what I think.
Good for you, let me know if your trial is a success! I think it works if your partner/spouse can pitch in. My husband? Hmm not so much!
Are men going to realize women don’t have the main role in the “chores act” anymore? I am not a hard core feminist, but sometimes it just really gets me. OK, end of vent. Thanks for listening!
[...] I may not be very domesticated, I master can manage a few easy recipes from my French heritage (i.e. lessons learned from mom or [...]