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By Maryline, on October 5th, 2010%
Yesterday was a big declutter day. For a very good cause. And actually, by accident!
My cousin just moved from France to DC, she will be working for the French school there and signed a 3-year contract. She is here with her 11-year old son. A new beginning, at almost 50. Another shot at the American Dream!
I am so glad I was here to help her over the past few days. When you expatriate yourself, you have to start over on so many levels.
New job: pressure is on.
New house: maybe at first a hotel.
New friends: none yet.
Family: zero.
Customs and languages: Uh, not yours.
Emotional and financial stability: poor.
At least she is not alone — she is nearly alone, but not quite by herself. I spent most the day on Sunday and yesterday afternoon driving to DC, helping her sign a lease (I even wrote some checks until her funds are available), helping her move her luggage from the hotel, finding food and the basic necessities for the both of them.
And so Sunday night and Monday morning I found myself happily filling up two boxes of things I own that are mostly unnecessary to me, but mostly vital for her new bare home. (The apartment is not furnished.)
Coffee maker.
Dishes and utensils.
An inflatable bed and sheets.
Basic kitchen pantry items and consumable.
A foot lamp.
And I am sure I will find more.
Too bad I don’t have a picture. Again, I had no idea what I was doing until I realized we are Tuesday and Dang! I wish I had documented, because I was just in the process of decluttering!
So today is a declutter crossroad because my declutter project just crossed the path of expat life.
How expats get started.
And where I was 7 years ago, with just 2 huge suitcases.
Nothing else, nobody else. Just 2 suitcases, a student visa and a marketing job.
It's so good to have you back! Share your thoughts, I LOVE comments!
By Maryline, on September 9th, 2010%
Chocapic by Nestle, are my favorite cereal. Always have been, ever since I had teeth I believe.
Until recently, I thought they could not be found in the US or even bought online for US delivery. I used to ask family from France to bring them in their checked luggage whenever they came to visit.
And then in 2008 (I remember it was just around the time we got married), a Google search took me to a discussion board where someone reported seeing them in a store. I investigated further and found out that there are a few hidden spots in New Jersey where Chocapic can be found, imported from South America.
When my husband travels to NJ, he stocks up for me. Here is the result of the latest (20 boxes).
 Chocapic Stash Note: Chocapic are definitely not part of the Declutter Tuesday challenge… They will be gone in no time, trust me 
What is YOUR addiction? Your secret is safe with me (and the rest of the world).
By Maryline, on September 2nd, 2010%
The movies I’ve chosen to highlight are all French movies I’ve seen in my young years, somewhere between 7 and 14 years old.
They are what comes to mind when I think of great, memorable French movies. Not necessarily top box-office movies, we all know quality and sales have very little to do with one another.
This list reflects the order in which I saw these movies and what made them list-worthy to me.
Take a moment to dig these out on DVD or on classic television, they are so worth it. For a detail of the cast and full synopsis, just follow the link to the best movie reference online, www.imdb.com.
The story of an orphan bear cub who tries to escape from hunters in the mountains of British Columbia. An animal movie with little dialogue but packed with action. And let’s not forget the photography which is simply breathtaking.
This is the first movie I saw in the movie theater; yes, I was 7 or so! What can I say, we did not go out much in rural France back in the 80′s… That was before the Internet though.
One of the most talked-about movies of my young years, it’s the incredible change in fate for two very different families whose newborns were swapped at birth… when the mistake is revealed 12 years later. It’s without a doubt a classic and I couldn’t agree more with the critic:
A cleverly devised movie that captures perfectly dark French humor
Haven’t we all joked with our younger sibling when they were just old enough to understand but still young enough to naively believe, “we found you in a dumpster when you were a baby, you know“? No? Well, I have, but my brother forgave me. Moving on…
The adventures of a young Parisian boy whose life changes during a summer vacation in Brittany, while giving a new chance at life for the couple hosting him. This movie just stuck with me when I first saw it as a child, and seeing it as an adult puts the relationship between the characters in a new light; still brings back the same authentic emotions though. A childhood movie to treasure, a true keeper.
A dad whose young son is ill makes sure his little boy has the time of his life over the few months that are left for him to live. A simple drama, genuine and heartbreaking like the French can make them.
The saddest Holiday movie I’ve seen, one you can never forget.
Make sure you watch the long version, not the edited one. Le Grand Bleu is a beautiful, magical movie, and it’s one of the best ever made by the French in my opinion. Ever.
I just cannot tell you what it’s about, because it isn’t just about that. It goes beyond friendship and rivalry. This drama, supported by a breathtaking soundtrack, will undoubtedly bring a lot of emotions to the surface…
French comedy at its best! Could not wrap up the list without two comic icons like De Funès and Bourvil.
Aside from the fact that the title of the movie was poorly translated when exported (La Grande Vadrouille literally means the big stroll), I am sure this must be a very hard movie to watch and understand for non-natives even with subtitles; however this is a great movie to learn French idioms and slang — and most of the characters’ blunders don’t require any accompanying captions anyway!
I probably first saw parts of this movie when I was much younger, but it wasn’t until my teen years that I remember seeing it in its entirety. French TV is not very creative and they will usually show this movie at least a couple times a year — so much so that every French person has probably seen this movie at least once!
You turn now… Have you seen or heard of any movies from this list?
Are there other French movies that stuck with you since you were a kid? I’d love to know, so leave a comment!
By Maryline, on August 24th, 2010%
Our trip back from vacation today lasted a total of 8 hours, from North Carolina to Maryland.
In France, nobody would take such a long trip for a short vacation, let alone an extended week-end.
The perception of distance remains a fundamental difference between North America and most of Western Europe. I speak of North America because Canada is very similar in that respect, at least from my experience and that of my Canadian friends.
Back in France, 200 to 300 km is a pretty long way. Chances are, you can enter a new country from where you’re at.
In the US, 300 miles might start to feel like it’s a long way — but that’s more than twice the distance, nearly 500 km. And you may very well still be in the same state by then!
No wonder we perceive and adjust to distances very differently.
Several reasons for this, from the US prospective:
- First of all the automobile is gold and gasoline is cheap. On your own time, at your own pace.
- Secondly, other transportation means do not serve the entire country and are usually pricey (especially train & air travel) — more drawbacks: you usually cannot take your pets along and the amount of luggage is seriously limited.
- Third, and I almost forgot because it’s so obvious: The US is a vast territory, so vast that the state of Texas alone is larger than France. So inevitably, people can move farther away from one another, and family reunions can take you far, very far!
Before I moved to the US I took great pride in having driven two long trips with my own car, a used Peugeot 205 from 1993 that looked like this:
 photo credit: Twistedmind
My first long car trip took me from Versailles (just outside of Paris) to Birmingham in the UK. I took a break before getting the car on the Eurostar — the train that crosses the Channel through a tunnel between Calais in France and the UK — and spent the night at a hotel, before finishing my journey on the other side of the road.
That was really fun! Passing on the left while your seat is right beside the driver you are passing makes for interesting glances and stares.
I believe it took me about 12 hours all together. I was with a friend on the way out, but came back on my own. I was barely 20.
My second long car ride took me from Versailles to Aarhus in Denmark, non-stop and by myself. That’s 4 countries in about 14 hours: France, Luxembourg, Germany and Denmark. It would have taken me less time if I had had more horsepower — the German highway has no speed limit, other than that of your own engine of course.
These were definite exceptions for me, the average car trip to go on vacation or visit family would be 2 to 4 hours. 5 at the most due to traffic.
But now that I live in the US, I routinely drive with my family for 6+ hours.
I recently drove 7 hours from New Hampshire to see a dear friend of mine outside of Montreal. Because the plane ticket was crazy expensive. And I just had to go!
However for the most part, my time is definitely money, and I fly whenever I can. Can’t beat a little planning with a low-fare airlines!
Yes, driving to and from the airport adds to the overall time, but for me it breaks it up so even if the total time is equal to that of driving… I will almost always choose to fly.
I want to hear all about your longest road trip! When,where, who?
By Maryline, on August 18th, 2010%
Most shocking news surrounding immigration to America:
- Saying “I do” to a US citizen does not automatically make you a US citizen: that would be much too easy. Instead you have to apply (fill out a lot of paperwork, collect evidences that your marriages is real, and pay a hefty fee), wait and then apply again — it’s a multi-step process. Wait time: 3 to 5 years.
- The green card is not green. For those who may wonder what this card is, it is a form of ID that officially documents an alien’s permanent residence.
Well, glad I checked the web on this one: supposedly it’s now green again. But mine? Is not!
- If you are HIV-positive or have another ”communicable disease of public health significance” it will be very difficult for you to immigrate to the US. Minus a few rare exceptions, there is an immigration law that says HIV-infected people cannot get legal status in the U.S. because the government considers HIV to be a serious disease that is dangerous to the public health.
As part of my application process to obtain my green card, I had to submit myself to a complete physical exam (at my own cost of course!), with shots updates and so forth.
It was then that I was tested for tuberculosis; but because I had been vaccinated as a kid (a very common vaccine at the time in France), the test came back positive… and I was required to get a chest x-ray to prove I was not developing the disease.
Of course, to make matters easier I was pregnant at the time of the application and I had to wait until after my baby was born to have the x-ray done… The hoops I jumped through for the sake of USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services).
- If you’ve lived in Europe for more than 5 years since 1980, you are not eligible to donate your blood in the US. It’s true, I tried when I first arrived to the US and got turned down. Quoting the Red Cross’ web site:
Persons who have spent long periods of time in countries where “mad cow disease” is found are not eligible to donate. This requirement is related to concerns about variant Creutzfeld Jacob Disease
You want to know what’s funny? (Oh, yes, you do!) While my European blood is not good enough, it’s okay for me to have children with my American husband. Nobody seems to question how much of a burden this might be to the US economy, and of course public health, if the CJD disease poses such a threat. This matter has always fascinated me!
So tell me, did you learn anything? What’s your experience living abroad and dealing with special rules for “aliens like you”?
By Maryline, on August 16th, 2010%
Of course, the US is the biggest military force there is in this world.
Yet when I arrived in the United States of America 7 years ago, I was at first very surprised to spot all the “Support our troops” bumper stickers, the veteran discounts available just about everywhere and the surrounding feeling of pride that everyone carries in their heart; what I have learned since is also the sincere gratitude towards the servants of freedom for their sacrifice and often that of their families.
And the flags outside many homes are not just a symbol of patriotism but also a testimony of support for the military men and women, the troops, still deployed and also the veterans who have returned and attempt to start life over.
photo credit: Rick Collier
I’d say it would take an outsider quite some time to grasp how deeply rooted these feelings are in every American. I will admit that it has taken me years.
Let me go even further by suggesting most tourists specifically cannot get it. Many just see this obnoxious display of pride for a country, not understanding where the pride comes from.
You need to truly experience it to understand it, you need to live the American life and only then does it start to make sense.
It is in the subtle consistency of its every day reminders that America’s pride for its troops reveals itself.
The most recent example I want to tell is related to the somewhat amateur triathlons I race in — like most sporting events — they start with the national anthem.
And during these 2 minutes or so, every person that has come to compete will turn to the US flag, rest their arms on their side or bring the palm of their right hand to their chest and siltently recognize they would not be there without those who fight to protect their freedom.
The emotion always catches me by surprise, I’ve never felt that way towards my own anthem.
I wanted to let you know, now, I get it. And I’m so proud my son gets to be an American citizen.
And soon I shall be too. (You know, when the administration will process my paperwork in a couple of years; until then just call me legal alien resident, that’s my official status.)
By Maryline, on August 13th, 2010%
Let me tell you a little secret.
I wasn’t that athletic until I came to America. It was only then, 7 years ago, that I found myself running, and a little later, embracing the triathlon lifestyle.
And surprisingly there are many, many more athletic events held in America than I know of in France – this is not a scientific study, I don’t have figures per capita, but I can just tell you there aren’t annual marathons in every large city of France or Germany — yet there is, here, in America.
photo credit: Gregory Bastien
How do you explain that?
Turns out America is the kingdom of contrasts, fitness included. I’ve figured out a long time ago that there are two sides to the “American coin” – one overweight-prone side that is fondly referred to as the “couch potatoes”; and one skinnier or self-conscious side that tends to be quite active.
I believe there is a problem with extremes on both sides of the coin.
Some within the ”self-conscious” population flirt with obsession — remember the 2009 debacle when model Kate Moss praised the motto of a starving diet generation “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. Anyone with common sense should now understand that the best way to balance your weight is to spend all the energy you consume. Or prevent from consuming the calories you can’t burn in the first place. Otherwise? Be prepared to see yourself expand!
On the other hand, lack of fitness can crush people’s lives. Yes, I am talking about those 200-pound and over who did not ask to be that way. But now cannot fit into a single metro seat, let alone drive their own vehicle.
How does that happen?
I have my own opinion as to how this all started, and I will share it with you.
You see, back in France, when I was in school I ran a tiny bit of cross country and played some volleyball in high school, then some more in college; but school sports in France – and, as a matter of fact, in Europe in general – are not that big a deal; not like it is here in the US.
I’ve heard so many times my friends or coworkers vent about the coach who did not “select” their kid to “make the team”. Since when do you need to qualify? Who does not need to exercise physically and mentally? Sports prepare you for focus, endurance, team effort, dedication, and commitment.
If you take that away from many youngster, then what is left of their self-esteem?
You tell me.
Meanwhile I need to get ready mentally for the short-course triathlon I am entering on Sunday.
(By the way, no, America does not run on Dunkin Donut, America should run on the track or the pavement, like runners do)
By Maryline, on August 12th, 2010%
Once upon a time in a big city, I drive to the office and it’s past 9:30am. I am inexcusably late!
Not only did I oversleep right through my alarm and missed my 6am run, but the stormy skies were casting their shadows on us this morning, keeping us in the dark for a little longer than normal.
Even my son slept in: an hour past his normal wake time!
Don’t ask me what I did differently, I have no idea!
When I first heard my son at 8:14, I looked at the clock, and could not believe it was that late. The clock had to be wrong. Had to be!
Except it was not. I jumped off my bed, scooped T out of his crib and hurried in fast-forward mode through our morning routine: breakfast, getting ready, walking the dog, prepping both our lunches, and all!
As usual at this time of day, when I finally get to my destination, the office lot is full; but on top of it, parking is restricted everywhere else off street and under the overpass… Something is going on.
I opted for the parking lot under the overpass where a few other cars had already lined up.
A few hours later, the office manager reports a “high towing risk”, so I head back down shortly after Noon to park on our lot — now that a few folks have left for lunch.
And just around 2pm, they start to set camp: a few pick-up trucks, a handful of decorated school buses branded in purple and black; then the picnic tables unfold, the music gets louder and louder, And by the time it’s 4pm the crowd has tripled, the street smells like barbecue, the beer is flowing, the cheer gets louder.
Right underneath my office window, on the first floor just across the street.
It looks like a camp site, right outside car trunks, with coolers, portable grills, outrageous amounts of food, drinks and people.
This, ladies and gentleman, is football night in America.
And for football, Americans will take a day off to party in the anticipation of a big game, grill outdoors on a parking lot and get warmed up for hours before the big event. A big event most won’t even get to see, but that’s OK, they came for the atmosphere, the beer and the hot dogs; they’ll just listen to the radio.
It’s called tailgating. It’s an art, a simple pleasure for many, but it remains one of those American customs I will just never get.
I wonder if it’s just me — do you get it, do you tailgate?
By Maryline, on August 6th, 2010%
When you are French in America you are at first all excited, then quite annoyed that so many things are labeled French, often with no good reason.
Why annoyed? I am not really sure. Could my cultural origins be hurt by the generalization of this trend? Very possible.
See for yourself: (literal translations are in quotation marks, some are after all pretty awkward!)
1- French kiss. Come to think of it we don’t actually have an equivalent for this wonderful expression of love. The slang equivalent of “Did you French kiss her?” is Tu lui as roulé un patin? which means: “Did you roll her a skate?” Go figure.
2- French fries – though a lame attempt was made a few years back to rename them “Freedom Fries”, we the French just call them frites (fries). By the way? Frites were invented in Belgium.
3- French toast – one of my favorites, but we call it pain perdu (“lost bread”) as it is typically made with stall bread, that would have otherwise been… lost!
4- French maid– femme de chambre. Why not call her a cleaning lady, what’s so wrong with that? Call it like it is, or as the French would say Let’s call a cat, a cat.
5- French twist. Maybe because the French are known for their classic hairdos?
6- French manicure. OK I lied on this one; in France we actually do refer to this as une French manucure. I guess the American idiom has traveled across the ocean on this one!
7- French doors – known as porte-fenêtre, literally “window-door”.
8- French clock – again, is it a master of style? “So French, so good?”
 Patisseries, tout simplement 9- French pastries. It’s true, the French are the undisputed masters of pastry art. But back home, they are just… pastries! (Donuts do not qualify as pastry, not in my house anyway)
10- French beans – The French just call them haricots verts (“green beans”). For the record, we only eat green beans that are cooked (read: not crunchy). I have yet to find one American who cooks their green beans like the French do. Another cultural mystery!
11- French vanilla. I have no idea where this one came from. I don’t think we grow vanilla in France. If you know the origin of this expression, let me know!
Turns out, there are many more non-French things that proudly carry the French attribute, but the 11 I listed above are the ones I hear most often.
What are you favorite French things? Did they not make the list?
The best suggestions will be added to the post… Yes, it is a contest, ready? Go!
By Maryline, on July 17th, 2010%
Though its meaning has changed over time, and everyone may have its own version nowadays, the basic premise behind the American Dream is that you can achieve prosperity and happiness through hard work.
Interesting to note, the concept actually precedes the United States, as it first appeared in the 17th century when the new continent nourished all sorts of expectations and hopes to the rest of the world.
Ever since, immigrants have poured into the country hoping to make a better life for themselves and their family.
Quite honestly, I would not say I’m exactly that type of immigrant – arrived by accident from a developed nation to attend college – but I’ve become one of those that chase the American Dream nonetheless.
It’s just that I did not know that was the name for it.
All I wanted was to work hard enough to enjoy my life, and be able to start and support my family. Freedom was always something I took for granted, sadly, because that’s where I come from.
However my career dilemma is at least showing one thing: happiness is not always a consequence of prosperity. This will be the subject of another post because there’s much more to it.
Outside the fact I landed in America and that’s where I’m leading my life now, I’d say I would have pursued that dream anywhere really — it could have been the Australian Dream or something.
What sets America apart from the rest of the world, is the path you must follow to become (in that order): a legal alien, then a non-immigrating resident, then an immigrant, and then hopefully a citizen. There is a price to pay for every ”then” in that sentence.
And of course there is time to spend waiting, filling out forms, attending interviews and background checks, then more waiting, returning back to your home country to renew an expiring visa, more money to spend… and always the risk that it might not work out for one reason or another — but your money would be gone anyways.
Receiving my conditional Green Card last year felt like an immense relief. You see, before the downturn of the economy, my then-fiance and I had no problem buying a house and receiving financing despite my work visa due to expire 2 years later. It felt good to know I was now allowed to stay and live in my house!
Things look pretty straight-forward: my husband is a US citizen, and our son born in the US last year is also a US citizen. But for the French-born mother, things ain’t so easy.
So many people assume you’re a US citizen when you mary a US citizen. People are always in shock when I tell them it does not work that way. I must apply first — just like I had to apply for my Green Card.
But I cannot apply for US citizenship yet, not until I’ve had my Green Card for 5 years…
I will not open today the illegal immigration debate — this is as scandalous for the American people as it is for the legal aliens who pay play by the rules. Yet, I’m not one to condemn them either.
Let me close by saying this: Many Americans don’t realize their chance — there is nothing holding them back to start living the dream.
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